During student teaching, TCU hosted an interview day. I had 10 interviews that day, but was really only interested in the one with White Settlement ISD. I interviewed with one of the elementary principals in White Settlement and got a great vibe from him. I knew that I wanted to work for him immediately after the interview. I kept emailing him asking for updates on job postings and eventually got an unexpected interview. I say unexpected because it was a staff development day and he called to ask if I could come interview. "ABSOLUTELY," I said, but I wasn't expecting an interview so in my mind all I can think about is that this isn't the way I planned it. As I'm driving over to the interview I called both my parents to tell them the good news, but more so for moral support. NEITHER OF THEM WOULD ANSWER THE PHONE! Thank goodness for Owen who picked up the phone and talked me down from my nerves and encouraged me that it was okay that I was going to my first interview in blue jeans, which was totally not the way I planned it. My interview lasted two hours and I got a tour of the school, and I left with a really great feeling. A few weeks later, I got the job teaching 3rd grade, the grade I wanted! I was thrilled, and still couldn't be more excited. I didn't have to put too much work or worry into my job search. God pretty much just handed me the opportunity and let me know it was His plan for me. I have such a feeling of peace.
After all of this, student teaching ended, I graduated (Suma Cum Laude), and am now enjoying my summer. I have met so many wonderful people over the past few months and have enjoyed some great times with both new and old friends. I should be completely happy, and emotionally I AM. But, for the past week my body hasn't been happy. I don't know why. I would usually chuck it up to stress but I have nothing to be stressed about. I woke up the other morning and my sacrum was all but screaming at me. My lower back was holding so much tension and I couldn't explain why. Then I woke myself up several times last night grinding my jaw. This led to a full day of a sore and tight jaw. Yoga helped my back but my jaw is still full of tension. I can't figure out why. I've been racking my brain. I'm not unhappy, I have a great group of friends, I'm off for another two months, and I laugh all the time. Perhaps, I need to do some 'soul' searching, if you will, really look into my heart and my head to try to figure out what's going on OR perhaps all the stress from school is finally trying to leave my body now that I am so happy. I'm sure I'll figure it out.
A few years ago I would have never pictured myself to be in this place in life and being so happy with everything. So maybe I'm creating this tension in an attempt to self destruct, meaning that I am human and rather than just accepting my happiness, I am planning for the moment when the good things end and struggle begins. That's the way life goes, right? Well, I say forget that. I need to indulge in my happiness to the fullest and not worry about later. I'm choosing to live in the now, taking each day at a time.
It's my choice. I want to be happy. I'm going to let myself be happy.
You should do the same.
